Warrens Australia Diary

Part ONE - KALGOORLIE to PERTH, 'The Escape'
The last time I really sent any real email was from Kalgoorlie, it seems like a life time since I left Kal (I guess it is a few months), I miss my good friends that I made there (I hope to see u all soon) but I?m glad to have escaped and got back into some sort of reality. My last few weeks in Kal were pretty much the same old, same old, working 5 days a week, with 12h days underground getting covered in grease and salt water. The weekend spent working on my first car (A short wheel base Nissan Patrol) with Dan (German Dan) and/or Brett. The nights were then spent out on the piss in Kal with the normal crew. I had decided that I had to at least do a few tourist things. So a group of us spent a day touring Kal and its surrounds visiting the super pit, a ghost town and various abandoned mine works that are still open (entering them is only for the stupid and definitely not for the faint hearted). We finished the day off with a trip to Langtrees (The famous brothel), no not in the way you are all imagining. Wanting to get maximum value I organized a group booking with a few of the guys and girls from the hostel. Well I think we all had our eyes opened that night as the guide showed us around each of the rooms. There really was something for everyone here, various rooms ranging from the ?Sports room? (equipped with boxing ring bed and a basket ball hoop over the end of one end the bed) to the orgy room (a finely painted room with large roman bed and couches). Not forgetting the Mine room, I really can imagine anyone who works in the mines wanting to use this room, after 12hs underground that would be the last thing in the world I would have wanted to see again. It seamed to be the time to leave Kal, everyone was starting to head off. Dan and Donna had already left, Paul, Sandy, Mick and Emma were all moving into houses around Kal, Brett was heading home to Perth, Richard was off to start a job in the UK, Sharon and Lee were talking about leaving and I was also getting fidgety. So for those that don?t know I decided to buy a second car, a long wheel base Toyota Landcruiser and god she looks really mean. She has an engine driven winch, huge bull bars, spotlights, well oversize tires and a roll cage with roof rack. So very, very, me.
The day before I decide to leave Kal, Dan, Emma, Phil and I spent the afternoon trying to work out how to put up my new 4 man tent in the car park when Chris my room mate came back having quit work and having had decided last minute that he would join me for the drive up the west cost to Darwin. So I already had my first travel companion, as we had lived together for so long in Kal it was good to know I had someone onboard I could trust.
Our last night in Kal was messy as you can only imagine, it was done "Kal style" we went out with Chris wearing a Japanese bandana wrapped around his head and me a Santa hat.. That was without Chris deciding to take wear Sharon?s clothes and handbag, Why!!??.. Who knows KAL is just like that, it does thing to you. It was a great night with probably the largest crowd of Golddust'ers (our hostel) out in the one place at once. In how many pubs in the world can you have horse saddle races through the bar, while being served by skimpies. To tell you the truth I can't remember the end to that night, but that was the same for most nights in Kal. Waking or being woken on the couch in the morning with a half eaten subway as a pillow and a visit from the "Beer Monkey", always guaranteed that the night was a good one.
After my days of preparation and planning Chris and I finally left Kalgoorlie after midday (We meant to leave at 10am), heading off after waving good bye to our close friends. It was a surreal moment for me, so many emotions and memories bubbling through my mind as I drove out onto the road for heading for Perth. As if just to add icing to the cake of my memories of Kal being such a bazaar place, we cruised past teams of people running the annual gold panning barrow race that was so famous in Kal. Good bye Kalgoorlie.. I will not forget. Chris and I had decided to visit the Wave Rock on the way into Perth just a small diversion of a few hundred kilometers. A huge wave shaped rock seemingly in the middle of nowhere, much like a lot of things in Australia. After a few wrong turns and a great deal of confusion using the GPS (Global Positioning System) for the fist time, we managed to find the Main Road (a desolate dirt track) heading for Wave Rock. We arrived just before the sun was setting not bad considering that we had planed to be there about 4 hours earlier. 'We started as it was only going to go on'. Around 800Kms later we arrived in Perth, slightly panicking over the fact that we had not booked into any hostels and the ones we had managed to call before our phones died were all full. Finally we managed to locate a hostel for the night in Northbridge (The trendy part of Perth).

Part TWO - PERTH "The Team Meet"
There was no rest for the wicked for our next day in Perth, I wanted to find somewhere to book the car into to replace the breaks. Probably an idea considering the sort of distances we were likely to be traveling in the next god knows how long. The next day was a frantic scrabble as we spent the day rushing around. Chris and I also had to get a load of posters up, we were adverting a lift up the west coast, as we had yet to find anyone to join us. I had had a few calls from weirdo's. No surprises there then, I hear some of you say? What is it about me why do I always seem to attract them or just go out with them. I don?t need any feed back on that one thank you very much. Anyway for that reason we put Chris's mob no. on the advert and spent best part of the day racing around Perth and Fremantle putting our advert in every hostel and internet caf� we could find. I must say it was very hard work for the both of us, having spent so long in Kal nether of us really remembered what women looked like and so many of them too! After a day of very hard work we decided that we would have to sample the local pubs and maybe a club. We ended up in the 'Aberdeen' pub/club! a DJ, reasonable music, women, women and more women AND cheap beer we were in heaven never of us know what to do with ourselves. But a few jugs later and we shaking our funky stuff on the dance floor, just so shocked and disappointed when they decided that they wanted to close for the night (did they not know we were X-miners from planet Kalgoorlie). All was made better by the local kebab shop and then a short stumble back to our Hostel. Finally I received a text from Heleen (our first team member) and Chris received a call from two girls interested in joining us, after a solving a few technical problems with Chris's dieing phone we managed to arrange to meet up in the pub. It just happened Chris and I were meeting up with Brett a friend from Kal in the Pub that night, the pub was as good a place as any. Sarah and Katie the two British girls that had called Chris had only just landed in Perth and seen the advert in a cyber cafe. They only wanted to go to Broom rather than Darwin but we decided that we could try pick up another group from Broom to Darwin (hopefully). Heleen a Dutch girl was in all the way to Darwin, after I had shown them my planed route and timings we had our team. My car was going to be in the garage for another half day so we had arranged to meet Sarah and Katie in the afternoon to get all the shopping and packing organized, our other team member Heleen was on a tour and unable to make it. I picked up the car about midday and Chris and I spent the next few hours packing the car and installing all the wiring that I had decided to do so we could run all the electrical toys and gadgets we had for the car. The girls turned up just as Chris and I had finished putting everything back together. AND YES IT DID ALL WORK u buggers. But how do women manage that.. it has to be some sort of inbuilt seventh sense to arrive after the work is over. The shops were now closed so we would have to leave the food to the next day. Due to the fact it was raining and none of us had eaten we decided to go for a $10 eat as much as you can eat pizza that I had a flyer for. Then early to bed for the first day of traveling and the first of many early morning starts.

Part THREE - PERTH TO MONKEY MIA ?The Start Of Our Road Trip WA Adventure?
All packed and ready the car looked a little over full (understatement). The girls were a little panicky about the smell of rubber and the rubbing noises coming from the rear of the car. Ok so the car was so full the wheel arches were rubbing on the wheels, it sounded and smelt a lot worse that it really was. Not at all helped by the fact that I had bought a car with hugely oversized 33x12.5 tires (that?s 33? high and 12.5? deep for anyone unsure). Our first stop was to be the Yanchep Nat Park to see the caves. Ok so we were running so late due to spending a little to long food shopping that we did not get a chance to do the night before, so we skipped the caves and visited a few of the local kolas instead. Chris had this thing for shipwrecks so we stopped in Guilderton to see if we could find a shipwreck. Nothing but we did find Dog Beach, not bad going so far, out of the two things we were meant to have seen we had not even seen one of them. I can only imagine what the girls were all thinking. So much for the efficient and well planed trip they were so impressed with a few nights before in the pub. Luckily our next stop Lancing (home of the huge sand dunes) we did find and the sand dunes were as impressive as I had expected. I managed to convince the team that we should do the desert 4WD track that led to the Namburg Nat Park (home to the Pinnical Desert) with a great deal of apprehension they agreed. So of we drove for some serious 4x4ing through the sand dunes, across the beaches, over rocks and the bush. I let everyone have a turn and I think it was thoroughly enjoyed by all, so much so that Chris would not give up the driver?s seat. After an exhilarating but long drive we arrived at the Pinicals, a huge numbers of sand stone rocks jutting from the ground like rogue teeth in the sand. The sun was just starting to set giving everything a eerie look to it. Then we had a 200Km drive onto Geralton and a hostel for our first night together.
The next day we were heading for the Kalbarri Nat Park (some 160Km north of Geralton). Stopping at various points along the way to look out onto the ocean and spot out the odd whale in the distance. Once in Kalbarri we stopped at the ?Loop? for lunch a perfect spot as we sat high up on the rock face overlooking the river winding through the gorge far below us. The views were spectacular and as always no photo will ever do this place of such beauty any justice at all. Then it was onto the ?Z-bend?, while trying to deciding on a name for the car and bouts of I spy. Chris had informed the girls about ?Warren?s fascinating but totally useless facts? so I was rationed to only being allowed to have two a day. Its not good when you card is already marked before even going any where, I had only been traveling with them for less than two days. But as all of you already know I am quite a unique individual (yes I know that?s not the words you would use Russian but your not writing the story, so shut it). The walk around the Z-bend was going to take a few hours and seeing that we were running late again (it was not going to be the last time) we decided just to go down to the view point and look out over the gorges. I managed to end up going ass over tit on every loose rock going, this was going to be another regular occurrence. There is the path and then there is the Warren way? Why are none of you surprised. ?What does not kill you, will only make you stronger?. We still had over 500Km to go to get to our camp site for the night. Chris and I were arguing like we were married, not for the first time about timings. Chris judging our speed to be around 100kph everywhere we went, I was trying to be a little more realistic with ETAs. Not that the girls seamed to mind they seemed to be totally bemused by how Chris and I acted like we were married. I did tell him he was in for a divorce when we got to Darwin.. if not before. Sarah and Katie took the wheel for the 345Km drive to the Overlander Road House an essential fuel stop. I don?t think they were to impressed as the road they were driving was a straight 345Km road not the slightest bend or shape in it. Once you have seen one bit of Oz bush you have seen it all, it does not change all that much. Our only stop along the way was to fill the fuel tank with one of the jerry cans, everyone using the opportunity to find there own spot of land and water the local vegetation. We arrived at Francois Peron Nat Park just after the sun had set. We had put off all the things we were meant to be seeing in this area until the next day due to us running late again. Francois Peron Nat Park is at the tip of a small finger of land that juts out from the main land. Shark Bay is a world heritage-listed marine park it has stunning stretches of deserted beaches with crystal waters and the Monkey Mia dolphins. I took the rains for the 4WD drive into the Nat Park, the track were very sandy only barely wide enough for my car, it was dark and the visibility was about 100 meters max. There was meant to be a 9km drive to the camp site but no one really agreed that it was that short, I still managed a good 60 to 90Kmph along the track. I was having a whale of a time doing so, while singings Meatloaf?s ?Guided by the Dashboard Lights? (the full 8.5min ver) at the top of my voice. I assume everyone else was enjoying themselves, they were all very quiet? maybe they were sleeping ;-} We only became bogged in the sand a few times but a few maneuvers later and we were back up to warp 10. We arrived at the camp site not quite what we had expected and very windy. Sarah and Katie ran the cooking while the rest of us added the finishing touches to our camp and started on the beer and wine. What a team we had Sarah was a veggie, Heleen who could not eat onions and I hate sweet corn and fish. Luckily we all liked cheese, it has been a staple part of our diet the whole way along the waist cost. The idea of finding some thermal pools that were meant to be around here had been discarded by now, bed was calling.

Part FOUR ? MONKEY MIA TO EXMOUTH ?Beaches And The Coast?
After a quick breakfast we headed for the famous Monkey Mia to see the dolphins up close. The ticket attendant was not having any of me saying that this was my family, I guess I would not have been too happy if she had decided that I looked old enough to have fathered this lot. We spent a while watching the dolphins swim up to us only feet away playing in the water, after feeding time they all disappeared back into the ocean. Our next stop was "Shell Beach" a beach formed naturally of tiny white shells, it was a stunning site set agenced the glistening turquoise waters. We wondered out into the water walking for about 400m before the sea even came up as high as out waists. I had bought my camera out with me so decided that it was not such a good idea too join the others for a swim. After the long walk back to shore we were off to Hamelin Pool, home to stumpy and the Stromatolites. Stromatolites are relatives of some of the oldest cell formation in the world known to exists, this was one of the only sites in the world where they could be so easily seen and are still growing in there colonies. I had a few detours of to the Gascone area to see blow holes and a few SHIPWRECKS (Surprise.. Chris had added them to the list), that I had put into today?s adventures if all went well time wise. As normal things weren?t going to plan time wise so the next stop was the town of Canarvon for fuel, food and toilet stop. According to our trusty Lonely Planet Guide to Australia (the LP for short) the town contained rather special toilets that were almost a tourist attraction. On finding the toilets it was a little hard to work out what it was that was so fantastic about them, other than they were computerized. Sarah failing to work out how to work them properly as the doors opened at the wrong time, maybe that was the tourist attraction!! luckily Heleen was in the right place at the right time. We harded off a again heading for Coral Bay, time was really cracking on and in an hour the sun would be starting to set. So Chris and I where running various scenarios of what we could do for the night. In between bouts of me going off on one about the lack of a mixing bowl and Chris still having a go at me for being a shop-a-holic and having far to much stuff. Shop-a-Holic ME... I ask you. The girls were still lost on the need for a GPS, but luckily at least Chris understood the need for it, the maps of some parts of Oz were not the best. In fact Chris spent more time programming and consulting the GPS than I did, well I guess as my 2IC (2nd In Command) and navigator he really should. A really handy part of the GPS was the Speedo, due to the fact my tires were so over sized the Speedo in the car was never correct and the only real way of getting an accurate speed was via the GPS. We decide that we would find a gate in the wire fences that ran for miles along ever sides of the roads and camp hidden out in the bush somewhere. There was no way that we were going to make the spot I had hoped for that night finally we were starting to giving up hope of looking for a gate we found one. The fresh tire tracks on the ground were a little unnerving but we all decided that we were all going to play the dumb backpacker routine if we were caught. A few hundred meters from the gate over a small hill lay this rather large pit, almost perfectly designed for camping inconspicuously. With in no time we had the camping complex up, I had a huge wood fire going (the traditional way, none of this firelighters and petrol stuff). I had dinner on the go then it was time for marshmallows on the fire, that was if the Marshmallow Monster had not already eaten them all (Katie had a little.. ok a HUGE thing 4 marshmallows). Then some how we started the drinking games... all those who have ever played any drinking game with me there is only one part of the game I can get right and that?s the drinking. So as normal I just drank, I don?t know why but I always become thicker than I normally am when anyone even mentions a drinking game. Chris and Katie seaming to be playing the game on there own (So obvious they went to Uni). Some how this lead to us onto playing charades, at which I may have got a little to excited and carried away with the whole thing I blame it on the drinking game and the BEER!! Honest. We were up early next morning, we cleared the sight other than the tire marks you would have never have known that we had been there. The first stop was Coral Bay, this was meant to be the location that we spent the last night in rather than the illegal camp site in the middle of nowhere. We spent a fair few hours here chilling on the beach, Chris heading of diving, while I went on one of my meditating moments walking off along the cost line, just me and my trusty camera. We had another 200km drive to go before we got to Exmouth and the Ningalo Nat Park. The girls had this car thing down to a fine art by now, if they were not knocking out the Zzz, they were catching up on there diaries from there travels. I had never seen such a tiny diary as Sarah?s diary, with her even smaller writing which I even struggled to be able to see. The scenery was starting to change and we would now see huge termite mounds as regular as trees. I called a halt at the Tropic of Capricorn, we all got out for a photo on the car with the sign behind us. Then it was back onto the road, as we headed for Exmouth we decided to take a detour up onto the Charles Knife Gorge and have lunch at the top. After an impressive drive, we reached a view point where we sat it was high enough to allow is to see miles in each direction looking out over the sea in the distance towards Exmouth. The drive back down was equally as breath taking and a few stops had to be made to allow us to get a few photos. I was living up to my normal photo madness so far taking about a film of 36 exp a day (my excuse is I'll never get the chance again so why not). A quick visit to the tourist info at Exmouth blow our ideas of camping in the Nat Park totally out of the water. It was looking as if we were going to have to camp at a site just outside the Nat Park. Sarah going some what week at the knees on finding out that they had a washing machine.. What ever does it for you girl, what a Crime... While Heleen and Katie were jumping around at the idea of showers and swimming pools. I thought it was meant to be a camp ground not a pleasure complex. The plot of land we had been given to setup our tent complex was far to close to the fish cleaning and gutting table for my liking.. Great. After setting up our tents in a brand new and improved configuration using the tarpaulin, we decide to spend the next few hours hanging out on the beach at turquoise bay in the Nat Park. The beach was stunning, so relaxing, again we had the whole beach to ourselves. Chris headed off diving on the inner reef, while the rest of us splashed around in the strong currents that ran along the beach. Then we lay back and watched as the sunset into the sea. The whole time all you could hear was the sound of the ocean waves crashing around us and feel the soft ocean breeze on our faces, it was so peaceful, so tranquil, so unspoiled. Our drive back to the camp site was an interesting one, Chris having to weave his way through the never ending number of Rock Wallabies that had now decided to take over the road. Some how by pure luck we did not end up with furry tire wormers. Once back at our camp ground, Chris cooked up dinner and a few games of sh1thead (The only card game it would appear backpackers can play) later and it was time for bed.

Part FIVE ?EXMOUTH TO BROOM ?Gorges, Gorges And More Gorges ?
Today was going to be a day of driving as we headed in land from the coast towards ?The Pilbara? area nearly 400km east of our current location. The Pilbara is known for its haunting red-dust landscape and as Australia?s best gorge country in the remarkable Karijini Nat Park. We drove all day, Chris?s normal speed distance estimates today being well out of wack due to the gradients of the roads, plus the number of 4WD roads we needed to drive leading towards Karijini. Sarah getting quite carried away at one point forgetting that she was still accelerating as she turned right onto one of the dirt tracks putting the whole car on two wheels as we turned the corner. One hell of an experience when you are in a 4WD the size of my Landcruiser, well it woke the rest of us up a little (understatement). For some reason everyone was then asking quite a few questions about my roll cage and ?how would you re-right the car if it turned over??, Chris and I blatantly blagging the answers, but it appeared to settle a few nerves. Then just out side of Top Price the main town next to Karijini Nat Park camp site appeared. After I went to restart the car? it was dead, no power no nothing.. So while I grabbed my multi-meter and started checking the fuses Chris chucked down the tents to the girls and they went to setup camp only few hundred meters away. All that was wrong was one of the battery terminals had shaken lose during Sarah?s 4WD?ing session, a quick and easy fix (Things starting to break.. ummm, come to think about it this was the first time Janice and Kat passed us). While cooking Chris started to talk to the two girls who were mighty impressed with our kebabs, it just happened that we would be seeing quite a bit of these girls in the not to distant future.
The next day we headed into the Karijini National Park, this has to me my favorite National Park in Australia so far. The views are just breath taking, it is so beautiful, so.. so I don?t know, just go there and then you?ll know what I mean. I was once told by a Dutch girl that the reason she always wrote in English was that it meant that she could describe things so much clearer and in so many ways. Yet I?m at a loss to find the words to use to explain to you all what this incredible place really is like. It is WA?s second largest Nat Park, with an excess of 600,000 hectares. We toured around the various gorges, pools and falls all of which had its own mysterious and magical character. Swimming and climbing down as far down the various gorges and pools as we could until it turned into grade 1 (that needing climbing equipment). ?Warren come back here? ?Don?t climb down there? ?No you cant go any further? were regular sayings, I got told off numerous times by the girls for getting to close to the edges or just trying to climb stuff that I really was not equipped for. I think they were more worried about the prospect of having to recover the car keys than anything else. Well what does not kill you can only make you stronger. A revolution was started that day when took a group photo and used the timer to get us all in, at that point everyone realized that they had timers on there cameras too. At a few points that day we drove past Janice and Kat in there little 4WD, they were even setup camp in the same site as us about four hundred meters away. We camped out in the Nat Park that night looking out across the apparent never ending bush, the sunset that night was spectacular as it set far behind our tents. I slapped up savory pancakes for dinner then sweet ones for desert.. It was death by pancake, as we discussed the finer things in life such as torture racks, my evaluation of women (Only a little bitter and twisted) to which Sarah agreed, admitting to having a rather bazaar fantasy. I could have been happy to help her out with if she really wanted, as well as my continued grumbles about the lack of having any mixing bowls. We did manage at least to agree on a name for my car one I think suited her down to the ground ?Tina?. I?ll let you lot work out who she is named after and why. We could have woken the dead that night with the amount of noise we made, luckily no one was camping that close to us, but apparently Janice and Kat could still here us. Chris pulled out a set of dice and we played a drinking game that none of the rest of us had ever played before. Luckily Chris boar the brunt of the drinking at the start of the game, only for the rest of us to get our turn to catch up later as the night progressed. But I do think the girls were picking on me and Chris to do most of the drinking, we defiantly found out who are friends were.. If you were trying to get us drunk?? I think you may have succeeded, by the time we had got to playing bunnies we were all a little worse for ware. I must say I do like the photos girls, you all make great bunnies. As the night progressed we managed to work our way through all the beer, all the wine and finally finishing off my bottle of port that I had stashed away incase of emergencies. After a hazy slow rise we headed off to complete the rest of the gorges and falls that we had not seen the day before. We walked down through the deserted and incredibly spellbinding Dales Gorge diving into various pools along the way. The scenery was just so incredible that we all believed that it was out of a film set from Indiana Jones or Tomb Raider. Heading onto the Fortescue Falls where we sat at the base of the falls with the cool water hammering down around us. After our dip it was on to Circular Pool an aqua coloured pool a few hundred meters from the top of the Fortescue Falls. Then it was the climb out of the gorge and back to Tina for the 300km drive to Port Headland. Port Headland is an ugly and very industrial looking port town almost directly north of Karijini, the first thing you notice as you head into the town is the huge salt works and salt piles. The town now handles more export tonnage than any other port in Australia and its obvious. To Chris and me it was a reminder of Kalgoorlie, lots of heavily bearded guys in Hard Yaka clothing and not many women. Due to us running late again, I suggested that we just grab a meal in port headland then I would drive through the night until we reached the campsite for the night. It was already dark as we drove into Port Headland we decided to have dinner in pretty much the only restaurant still open in the town a Italian Pizza place. Umm, different is all I can say, the meal was pleasant enough the waitress seamed to take quite a fancy to Chris, as yet we still don?t know if that was just to do with the fact he was carrying around the lonely planet. We had failed to be able book any sort of accommodation in Broom for the next night (yes we had left it to the last minute), Broom had just finished having a big festival celebrating the stairway to the moon and every where was packed to the rafters, so it was just going to be camping unless we could swing something when we got there. Fancifully we left the town and started to head off towards 80 Mile Beach, not before the waitress had suggested that we go down to the pier and watch the 17 and 18 year olds strip and dance naked in front of everyone. We were out of there quicker than a rat up a drain pipe, it must be some sort of odd redneck ritual for trying to find a mate. Not that I would expect that they would need to in a place that men out numbered women 7 to 1. Only a few kilometers out of Port Headland we saw a huge fire on the horizon we drove for 38klms still getting nearer to it all the time the road then changed direction and it went off to our side. Even then it must have been the same distance away if not more, it must have been HUGE. Before long we were steaming down the road, I was off on one, with my Euphoria mini disk pumping out of the stereo at max and I was driving on roads at night with other vehicle about. The only traffic was just the odd road train passing in the other direction. My idea of complete heaven, I was having so much fun I had even decided that I was going to drive all the way to Broom only about another 400klms. When I mentioned it to Heleen she did not look to impressed, she was not sleeping as well as the others in the back. The others were putting out the Zzzz as I cruised down the road, the guys only partially woke when I ended up giving one of the kangaroos that had been dancing in the road a good headache. We finally pulled into the camp ground at about 23:30, the camp backed onto 80 mile beach. The moon was as clear as day and even with the cooling breeze off the of ocean it was still roasting hot. The temperature had been getting noticeably different as we had been heading further north, now it was getting sticky and uncomfortable at this time of night it was just wrong. After putting the tents up Chris, Katie, Sarah and me decided to go for a moonlight stole along the world famous 80 mile beach (Obviously not the whole 80 miles). It was lovely looking both up and down the beach all you could see was the beach, beach and more beach. Passing the various shells and sponges that had been washed up by the ever pounding Indian Ocean. Is this not what dreams are made of, what a incredibly captivating, peaceful, provocative and remarkable country this is. Every day I spend in this amazing place makes me realize more and more how insignificant, sheltered, unworldly I am and how little I really know about anything. And with that every additional day my eyes grow wider, I get smaller and more humbled and my thirst for knowledge, understanding and gravity increase ten fold.
After a quick cup of orange the next morning we all decide to go for a walk along the beach, it was a bit different now there were a scattering of people across beach, in fact I would still normally call it empty, but after discovering what empty really was now I can afford to be fussy. Chris and the girls combed the sands looking for bazaar shells that had washed up over night, while I just sat and watched as the sea washed into the beach. After they were all shelled out it was time to hit the road again for the final 300klms to Broom.

Part SIX ? BROOM ?A Stairway Too The Moon?
Broom is famous for its pearl divers, it was where the ?Pinctada Maxima? was discovered, that?s the worlds largest pearl in a shell and in Brooms day it supplied about 80% of the worlds mother-of-pearl. Its about 17hs and 55 minutes south latitude. Its really only a small but very multicultural city with a lot of settlers from the Asia now living there, I think it has a population of about 13 thousand. We managed to find a camp ground in Roebuck bay Caravan Park, it was packed. Our timing could not have been better as the ?Stairway to the Moon? was still happening, this is when the moon rises over the mud flats causing a stairway effect on the water that runs up to the moon, it is truly incredible it see even through the crowds. Due to it happening only a certain times a year there are huge number of people that come from all over to see it. As I was saying we were luckily as it was going to be happening for the next three nights, so we all decided to meet up later and go down and watch it. Chris and I needed to get a load of adverts out again to replace Katie and Sarah, so while the others went off shopping we drove around all the hostels putting out our adverts. Once regrouped and the cleanest we had all been in a long while, we headed off to Mangrove Point the gathering point to watch the Stairway to the moon, it was packed. There was also a Stairway market with a variety of markety things as well as some cheap food stools. I must say it was the first time I had ever seen anyone having a lit candle stuck in there ear. Honest it?s the latest in the green, herbaly treatments for you ear and brain. I decided that it was not the best idea in the world for me to try it as the candle would probably fall all the way through. Then it was time to hit the town and take in a few of the clubs and pubs. Strange enough the first pub we got to was an Irish pub.. what a surprise, it was quite a nice one and had a cool atmosphere with a band knocking out some old classics (Yes I was well away). We decided to move on due to the fact that it was no where near the center of town and the clubs. We then found the main pub stretch, unfortunately the first pub we went into we were almost told to get out as we were not one of the locals. The next pub was more our seen anyway with a large beer garden, they even sold jugs. Then it was back to playing drinking games, this was well buggered as the whole point of the game appeared to be telling everyone your darkest secrets and then drinking as well? Katie was pissed before we had even started, so she was well away with the fairies which lead to some most amusing dancing on her part. After us all having a good skin full we wondered down to the local club, it had not really got going yet so we ended up sitting out side doing shooter. I think that was Sarah?s idea she was trying to get us pissed, I think I got the best end of the deal as a few of the shots the girls would not drink so I could not let them go to waste. Then it was onto the dance floor, Heleen pulled some random Irish guy, who?s mate decided to start talking the piss out of Chris and when I explained him that was not to nice. I was pulled way by Sarah and Chris and him seamed to become best mates for the night.. I really don?t know how that worked. The really funny thing was Heleen kept looking at us if she was not enjoying herself but every time Chris or I said we would come over and remove him she was all NO, no it ok (You where loving it girl). Chris and Katie appeared to be getting on really well together too, no real surprise there then (I had kind of expected that would happen some days before).
Next morning Chris and I dropped Heleen at one of the backpackers, after she said she wanted a proper bed for the night, but I kind of think it may have had more to do with the fact that she was feeling a little too much like a gooseberry between the four of us. After a still hazy but relaxed late breakfast in town, a little shopping and some essential email it was time to head towards the infamous Cable Beach with its camel rides. The four of us spent the rest of afternoon playing in the sea and then we watched as the sun set it such unbelievable colours over the sea. I was so relaxed I could hear the slowing thud of my heart, my mind was so clear yet absorbed the absolute magnificence of my surroundings. Just thinking of being there again makes the hairs on my neck stand on end, I can almost taste that ocean breeze and feel the temperature change as the sun slipped under the sea. It will always be somewhere I?ll never forget, the company, the sounds, the feel, the surroundings, if I could ever freeze a moment of life it would be then.
Finally Chris received a call from two girls that were interested in joining us on the journey from Broom to Darwin. We arranged to meet them at tonight?s Stairway to the moon. It looked like we were going to be staying in Broom for another day, which I had not planed, but I cant say I was complaining to much Sarah was not leaving yet so all was good. We wondered back to the Stairway which was much better than the night before as it was a lot darker, I even managed to get a reasonable photo which I was happy with. After that Chris and I went of too meet up with the two girls, it just happened that the two girls were Janice and Kat, the two girls that we had been bumping into most of the way up. It also turned out that I had actually called them in Perth as they had a sign up asking for a lift heading north, but they had managed to get one to Broom before I had called. Ok so this was all out very weird some one was stalking the other, but who!!
Next day was another slow and relaxed day Heleen was still at the hostel so the four of us went down to the local beach just next to Mangrove point behind our camp ground, the water was a thick aqua colour. The girls went swimming off out to sea chasing a pelican, god knows what they expected they were going to do too it if they ever caught up with it. There were loads of jellyfish tentacles in the water that gave us all pins and needles feel over our bodies. Sarah and I floated around watching the local aboriginal children playing at the shore line in the mangroves. I was still wondering if there were any saltwater crocs lurking around the mangroves, my knife was in my bag a good 50m swim and then another 100m run away (you have to think about these things, you know). The girls headed off to book there Bus back to Perth to catch there flight out of Oz. After getting a little bit of organizing done Chris and I headed into town a quick walk through the local market, then down the high street where we bumped into the girls. I left them to it and headed of for a quick bit of shopping then back to the car where they were meant to be meeting me. After sitting there for a while I gave them a call, they were watching me apparently.. after a good look at the markets I gave up. The buggers were hidden no further than 20m from me behind a huge boab tree. That night was a quite one off to the open air cinema and then home (that?s a tent) to a crate of beer. Part SEVEN ? BROOM TO Mt BARNETT ROAD HOUSE ?Tina Race Team Takes On The Gibb River?
The next morning it was up early as Chris and I said our sad, sorry good byes to Katie and Sarah after dropping them at the bus stop. We then quickly picked up Helen and then it was on to the hostel that Janice and Kat were staying at. I was not quite expecting that they would have the amount of stuff that they had with them, buckets, chairs, tent all the gear, Tina was now looking even fuller than normal. I pulled into a camping shop on the way back into town to see if I could get a power cable for my GPS. When I got back inside the car Chris said to them all ?See I told you? Ok so I bought a few more pegs for the tents and a small Mag-light, we needed them, no they did not have the GPS cable. We continued on towards our first stop, I just had this feeling that Janice and Kat were going to fit into the team with no problems at all. They started telling us about how efficient and professional our group looked every time they drove passed us. Apparently they were first impressed with our cooking in Tom Price, then they drove past us when we had the tents setup and saw our ?Tarpaulin Construction? they just went week at the knees. Chris and I had read an advert that they had put up in Perth, (Which I had called them about, but they had already left fir Broom) they then told us what they WERE going to put on that advert ?Two lovely ladies looking for lift up north, Janice - big tits, Kat ? gives good head?. There was not a lot left to the imagination, Heleen, Chris and just laughed, they were in the team. Our first stop was the Boab Prison tree just out side of Derby. It really was used as a prison in the early British occupation of Australia, it was hard to imagine how anyone would have any length of time cramped inside the tree especially in this heat. After our brief stop we were off again this time heading for the start of the ?Gibb River Road?. The Gibb river road is the panicle of 4WD roads in Australia, the words ?Entirely not recommended for 2WD vehicles at any time? are printed on maps. The 667Km ?Back Road? runs through the heart of the Kimberleys one of Australias last great frontiers. Despite enormous growth in the past decade it is still little-traveled, laid-back and a remote area of great rivers and magnificent scenery . In fact it is so unvisited that a lot of areas are still completely unmapped. I was itching to do the Gibb River, my whole time I had been in Oz all I had on my mind was me a 4x4 and the Gibb River Road. I had to be able to make all other 4WD drivers go week and start to quiver as I tell them I HAVE DRIVEN THE GIBB RIVER.
After a good 200Kms drive from Derby we arrived at Windjana Gorge Nat Park, just behind the camp site was the towering 90 meter walls of Windjana Gorge. It is so hard to explain how bazaar many of the gorges look out here as they appear from nowhere, it will just go from miles of bush to huge over powering cannons and gorges with no hit of a hill or build up in between. Wendjana Gorge was once part of the western coral ?great barrier reef? 350 million yeas ago, now it is home to a small number of fresh water crocs, that sunbathe in the small waterholes along the gorge. After putting up our tents we took a wonder through the gorge, the sun was just starting to come down and the reef rock walls were becoming illuminated in the bright reds and oranges of the setting sun. While the others sorted dinner I got to work on the car swapping over the rear tires and filling the diff?s (differentials) with new diff oil. After becoming adequately sweaty and oily I joined the others around the fire, where it appeared that Janice and Kat were already well on the way with the wine.
Next morning we were back on the road early to drive the 24kms to get down to Tunnel Creek Nat Park, a natural 750m long tunnel cut through the rock by the creek. Only about 5kms out of the camp site the car started to shake and rattle, thinking that we had blown a tire we pulled over to check it out. I started to panic (understatement) when I saw the wheel the studs had gone and so had the securing nuts. Many bad, bad words were used at this point, I had obviously not fully tightened the nuts on this side and the vibrations of the dirt track had rattled them lose. I really did not know what to do if I had sheared the wheel studs off then the trip was over and I was looking at a horrific bill to recover the car. After calming down a little and removing the wheel I found that the break drum had come away from the housing hiding the wheel studs under it. I was able to change my pants and get on with trying to sort things out, the rest of the team decided to walk back along the road to see if they could find a few of the wheel nuts on the road. While they were doing that I took 2 bolts off of each of the other wheels (luckily the wheels were six stud tires) and got the car back on the road. I was most impressed that of all the cars that had driven past me all of them stopped to ask if I needed any help, I was glad that at least if I did have a problem out here people would stop and help. About a ?click? (the term for a kilometer, used quite a bit on the drive) back down the road I picked up Chris walking back towards me, the girls had gone on further while he had come back to help. Another click down the road we found the girls it was far too hot to be walking out here with out any water. They had managed to find a rather large nut that was probably off of a truck that they were all very pleased with. I did not reckon that we would find any of the nuts as they would have been thrown off with such force that it would have taken them straight into the bush, but we decided to go back to the camp site and have a look just in case. After not finding a thing I told them not too worry about it I would get some more at the next services that we stopped at (not that they really have the sort of service stations that we had been accustom too out in this wilderness). Once at Tunnel Creek it took us a while to work out how to get into the tunnel, it would appear that it was going to be a climb down no mater what way we went. I had managed to find a even harder climb down but was unable to do it due to the fact that I only had my sandals on (bugger). The tunnel was pitch black and at various points involved a wade through the water to get to the other side Chris and I were the only ones with torches so I took point finding the best points to navigate the pools. The girls were a little concerned about the fact that crocs could well be hidden in the water or under the over hanging rock walls. I was secretly hoping for a chance to wrestle one of the little buggers (emphasis on ?little? none of this 6 meter croc stuff, stuff that), my knife was close and I was ready for him Croc Dundee style?ee. The tunnel was well impressive with an opening half way through, where the local bats ?hung out?. Janice also a keen photographer, let me in on a secret to reduce camera shaking when using elapsed time photography to get those cool colours or where it was just too dark for standard exposures. What is it? Well it would not be a secret if I told you all would it, I have been using it ever since to get some cracking photos. Once well photo?ed out we headed back to the car and a 200 click drive to Bell Gorge one of the most breathtaking gorges I think we visited nested in the middle of the King Leopold Ranges. As we entered the ranges we stopped at a view point for some photos over the baron landscape behind us. Only to find Tina was not doing to well, the Gibb was starting live up to its promises as her number plate hangs on with one screw and one of the spotlights having come away. At Bell Gorge we stopped at the top of the waterfall having lunch as we looked out across the magnificent views that surrounded us. Chris, Kat and Janice climbed down to the bottom of the falls to swim in the pool at the foot of the falls, while Heleen hung out in the postcard pools at the top of the falls. Me well I was too busy climbing up and down and around taking photos from every angle and very dimension possible. Heleen then called me over at the sight of a huge lizard (at least 2 foot long) that had swam past her and was now sunning itself on rock at the edge of the pool. Then it was back to the corrugations of the Gibb River Road as we headed for our first fuel stop at the Iminitji aboriginal community. Luckily they had a mechanic and I was able to get some new wheel nuts for the car, the fuel was the cheapest on the Gibb a scary $1.28 a liter (a bit of a shock when you are used to paying a max of $0.90). Everyone refreshing themselves on cold drinks and ice creams, drinking hot water constantly really get to you after a while, nothing stays cool out here for long. As the sun started to set we were back on the road heading for Mt Barnett Road House and our camp ground for the night. After a little confusion due to the road house being shut, finally founding the camp site, Chris and I located a camp spot as the girls drove behind us eliminating the area with headlights. In no time we had our camp up, food on and a fire burning, due to the sparseness of any fire wood we could burn I had to cut up some of the lengths of wood I was carrying on the roof.

Part NINE ? Mt BARNETT ROAD HOUSE TO ELLENBRAE STATION ?The Gibb River Bites Back?
The next morning we were up early again, there was no point in lying in it was too hot to sleep after about 06:30. The Girls and Chris headed off to go for a morning swim in the pools and falls a few hundred meters from the camp then we were of again aiming to get as close as possible to Mitchell Falls as possible. Only about 50 clicks from Kalumburu Rd, the road leading to the Mitchell Falls we had our first puncture, this is were I find out that the wheel brace does not fit into my tires (Something I really should have checked a long time ago). But I had planed for most eventualities and had a huge number of tools with me as well as a torc-wrench, which would do the job perfectly. The good thing was I did have a spare wheel, which I did make sure was ok, in fact I had two spares. I had taken the spare from my Nisan Patrol it was only 28? a good 5? smaller than the tires on this monster, but it was perfect for an emergency if I needed to limp anywhere. Then it was time to get onto the floor and get dirty and oily, the heat was blistering, I was saturated in sweat in no time. Then we headed off again planning to stop at Drysdale about 60 clicks down the Kalumbru Rd, we arrived just as another of the tires starts to go down with a slow puncture. It gave us time to get all the tools out and stick the axial stands under the car. They had a garage here and as I left the two tires at the garage to be repaired, the lady working in the shop told me about the four 4WD vehicles being recovered on the road to the Mitchell falls. Apparently the road was even worse than the Gibb River Rd, which was kind of hard to imagine seeing as we had already had two punctures. Then I was given the bad news one of the tires was unrepairable and the other was going to cost me a small fortune to patch. They had two used 32? tires that they could sell me for a unbelievable price, but they know that anyone out here had to pay, its not as if you can drive around the corner and get quote from someone else. The nearest real civilization (If you can call it that) from here was a good 500 clicks away. The problem with the 32? was they were 1? smaller that the normal tires which would mean I could not put the car into 4WD as it would put too much strain on the diffs. I went back to the group to see what everyone thought, I sat on the grass as the girls put together sandwiches. After a fair bit of discussions we decided to take the two tires and turn back to the Gibb river rd and continue on around, it just sounded too much of a risk to carry on down to Mitchell Falls. I took the other tire with the puncture hoping to get it repaired when we got back to reality, then it was a quick dip under the sprinklers running over the grass and back to the road. Stopping at Miners Pool a cool swimming spot a few clicks from the road, I managed to get a leach bolting its self to my leg. We managed to get Tina bogged so I had to put her into 4WD to get us out, we were in sand and the slip should have been enough not to damage my diff?s. Then it was an hour drive out of the Kalumbru Rd back to the Gibb, passing a turned over 4WD on the way out the roof was almost flat. We pulled over to see if we could help, the air ambulance had already been there and the rest of them were ok just well shocked. It was now becoming blatantly clear why the Gibb River could strike fear into the heart of even the toughest 4WD owner. As we headed along the Gibb River Rd it was now so obvious to see the side of the road was covered in parts of old tires. It was almost a tire grave yard that stretched off into the distance as far as the eye could see along the road. Then just 10 clicks from the campsite where we planed to spend the night another wheel burst. This time our wheel changing skills were supper fine, everyone knew the procedure the Tina race team was smoking. The tire was changed in no time, there was no chance of patching this one it had a 6? slice along the wall of the tire. The sun went down behind us as we started to limp to our camp site. We were all exhausted from the hard day and the constant vibrations from driving on the road. Chris headed off into the bush with the tree saw to get me some wood, as I got the fire started (I always do it the proper way, no fire starters or fuel). Chris came back to ask me to give him a hand, he took me out to a tree at least a foot thick that he had managed to cut half way through. I gave him a hand but after another 15 minutes of cutting we gave up and headed back to the camp, which we could not miss due to the 2 meter high flames from the fire, OK I may have got a little carried away. After dinner we settled down with a few beers and slowly got pissed under the stars, well some one got very pissed a little quicker than others, hey Janice. One of the most amusing stages of the night was when there was a load of noise coming from around the camp, it was pitch black and the girls and Chris seamed to be a little worried about the whole thing. After failing to convince them that what ever it was not going to attack us, I decide to go and find out for myself what was going on. After a locating the source of the sound I put my torch beam across a set of reflective eyes a good 2 meters off the ground. I was not quite expecting to see a horse munching through the bins, the rest of my group were as surprised as I was as I chased it away from the site. I really have no idea what they thought I would find.. an axe murder or ghosts.

Part TEN ?ELLENBRAE STATION TO KUNUNURRA ?A Leaf What??
The next morning there were some very ill feeling puppies in the group as Kat spent much of the morning lent over the toilet bowl talking to god. The camp site known as Ellenbrae Station had a cool toilet and shower area built in a stone house/ranch, the huge bird eating spider nestled on the shower curtain really gave it the real wilderness feel to it. I got to work on changing over all the wheels so the diffs would be balanced, in the process I ended up breaking another extension bar for my ratchet. Now I was knacker as I had already broken one the day before, luckily we managed to borrow a wheel brace of one other people in the camp site. He told us about a few horror stories from the Gibb then about one guy that had burst 10 tires in one day and ended up rolling down the road on his rims, that was the day before. Up to that point we thought we had been doing badly to go through 3 tires, looking at it we were doing quite well compared too many others that were on the road. Him and his wife could have not been any more helpful offering us tires, a wheel brace, etc, I refused, I?m sure that he needed it as much as we did. So we headed out hoping that we did not have another puncture as we no longer had anything to remove the wheels. We had done really well we were only about 20 clicks from El Questro Station (close to the end of the Gibb River Rd) when another wheel went, action stations again the only problem being we could not remove the wheel. Luckly only a few minuets after we stopped a tour bus came over the hill, the girls waved him down, he had all the gear and we managed to get the tires changed over in no time. Janice and Kat decided they would go off and entertain the people on the tour bus while they waited for our tire changing. Once getting sorted we offered the driver a hot beer but he turned us down, apparently he had cold beers (sod). Now I really was driving on tinder hooks, I had a 28? and 32? tires on the front and 33? on the back so I could not even lock in the hubs now. My co-pilot Janice calling out the location of all the rocks as we drove along. I must say she was a much better co-pilot than Chris, he never sorted me out with lime water, biscuits etc I always had to do everything myself. Chris you sacked. The views along the road were just breath taking, it must look just amazing in the wet season with all the creeks and falls thundering with water. Not that you would be able to get out here to be able to see it then as much of the road is impassable. We found ourselves a cool spot to setup camp in El Questro Station and Wilderness Park, it is a one million acre station with bar, restaurants, garage, and shop. It was more setup for older and family tourists and very expensive, but it was also very beautiful and we could do with a bit of pampering. Unfortunately the garage did not hold my size tires and would have needed to order them in so instead I decided that I would risk driving the rest of the way without a spare, we only had 20-30 clicks to go to get off of the Gibb and then it was back onto real road and no more bumps. We relaxed for the rest of the afternoon and after a good shower we all put on some clean (well as clean as we had, that red dust gets into everything) cloths, put on some washing and sat at the bar for a very well deserved cold beer.
The next morning Janice took the wheel as we headed off to our first stop El Questro gorge, as I now took my turn as the co-pilot. It was so cool the towering walls of the gorge to our sides with the large palm trees lining the creek running through the middle. We walked through the gorge the walk was too long to do the whole thing so we stopped at a small pool for a cooling dip before heading back to the car. Our next stop was Zebedee springs a set of natural hot pools, when we got there it was quite packed but a short walk to the top of the springs and we found ourselves a pool of our own. Then it was off to the unmissable Emma gorge, the 30 minute walk to get to the gorge was breathtaking ferns, palms and pools, with sparkling waters. We were most amused by the few people that we passed as we would all be walking around in flip-flops and sandals and they would walk past us tooled up looking like they were about to tackle Mt Everest. After a good hour of swimming and photos at the falls we headed back for our final 20 clicks on the Gibb River Rd. We had managed to survive, ok so 4 tires, two spotlights, part of my role cage, a battery terminal, and nearly my number plate, it could have been worse and it was for a lot of drivers that week. Good bye Gibb River? maybe again some day. Then it was back to tarmac and the never ending straight roads as we thundered on to Kununurra the only real town before heading into the Northern Territory. I dropped the guys off to do the shopping as I raced off to get some new tires, by the time I had got back I was totally knacked and I wanted to get some shopping done myself, so the guys took the car for fuel, etc while I did some personal shopping of my own. When the guys got back it was time for a long drive south destination Bungle Bungles. Chris had bought a few �? drive extension bars for my ratchet so at least now we could change the tires. Tina rocketed down the road it was probably the fact that she had new shoes on and they were all the same size. We arrived at the gate that led into the Bungle Bungles at about 20:30 the road was 4WD so I was back in the driving seat, Janice and Kat not feeling too well as we bounced our way along the dirt track in the dark. After about half an hour driving we came to a creek crossing, I took the car down to a craw as I took Tina into the water half way through there was a loud crack from the back of the car, she crawled out the other side and I got out with a torch to see what had happened. The rear leaf spring had snapped it was being held in position by the rear block so I could still drive on it, it was going to be really slow, I decided it was best to keep going rather that turn back. The girls had found it funny how as things went wrong at the start I was getting really stressed and now I hardly even blinked at a problem, well what else can you do after so much has happened to you. About midnight we got to the info center and setup camp in the car park at least someone will find us there.
When the info center was opened, I got some numbers from the girl that worked there, I was looking at a small fortune just to get the car recovered. At that point the ranger turned up and explained that it probably went due to heat, the springs get really hot then hit the cold water and snap, handy to know. He drove me over to his garage and we found a few bits of hardened steel. Time to make my own spring, we drove Tina round and as I made up some braces to bolt the spring back together the rest of the guys got with emptying the car and making dinner and reheat it when and if we get out of this. Using various bits of steel and the clamps I had made I managed to re-secure the leaf spring, it was not a bad job if I do say so myself. The clamps held it well tight and should allow is to get all the way back up to Kununurra more than 300 clicks north. Time was getting on my mate Roger was flying into Darwin the next day to come 4WDing with me in Kakadu, it did not look like I was going to be there in time to pick him up. We managed to find a 5 star camping ground in Kununurra with great facilities, Chris was happy with himself after negotiating a discounted price for the night. After a shower, relaxing swim in the pool and then spar and the reheated dinner we decide to hit the town. Janice and Kat had a few friends working there in the fruit picking fields, so they arranged to meet up with them before going to the pub. Chris, Heleen and me headed onto the pub/club? it was not quite what we were expecting. It would appear that Kununurra was packed solid with six fingered banjo players, it was quite worrying. We just sat out the way watching for Janice and Kat to turn up, just before they closed the inside bar they arrived. We were kicked out into the beer garden where there were even more weirdoes swarming around us. The girls were doing well with various loons coming up to them and trying there luck. I decided that I would drive the car all the way to Darwin tomorrow and get the leaf spring changed there, I really did not want to have to spend any longer than was really necessary.

Part ELEVEN ?KUNUNURRA TO DARWIN ?What More Could Go Wrong..?
The next morning we did some shopping my fears about Kununurra were valid when we saw the notice board in the supermarket and the messages crys for help to get them out of Kununurra, maybe this is what happens if you OD on fruit. I still needed to get a message to the airport for Rog explaining I was going to be late. We found a backpacker with internet and I sent a message as well as calling the air port. Finally we left that place, next stop WA ? Northern Territory border. We crossed into ?The Territory? the least populated area of Australia with only 190,000 people that only 1% of Australia. It is divided into two real areas, the bottom being the Red Center? home to Ayers Rock and the Olgas and then there is the ?Monsoonal Top End? best know for its spectacular Kakadu National Park. Anyway back to the drive we were only about 100 clicks past the border around 60 click from a tiny place called Timber Creek when the car just died. A quick inspection and I could see one of the cooling hoses had split emptying the engine of water and sending it to over heat. This was not good I had a feeling inside that we had cooked the engine and this would not be a simple repair job. After letting the engine cool down enough I took the hose off it had a 5? opening along it, I had a load of gasket seal which I thought I maybe able to patch it up with. Gasket seal and gaffer tape later it was fixed, I started the engine again and we empted about 40 liters of water into the engine it was still to hot to take it with out throwing half of it back out. I could hear there was something wrong, I asked the girls to look for back smoke out the back, none. Then after a few minutes the oil and smoke started to spit out the back, it was all over. After a few choice words, I calmed down again, it was going to be a new engine job, but we were in the middle of nowhere what the hell were we going to do. A few people stopped to see if they could help one very bazaar guy stopped, bright orange hair, beer in his hand and black stained teeth and an odor all of his own (I?m sure some terrorists would pay a fortune for that formula). After hanging around like a bad smell for far to long and repeating almost everything I said, I explained to him that we were fine.. and thanks for the help. Not too long after that a young couple pulled up on a driving holiday from Sydney and offered me a lift up to the next road house. So Janice and I got in hoping that we would be able to find someone to recover the guys and the car, leaving the others to see if they could wave down a road train in the meantime and follow us up. We pulled into Timber Creek only about 60 clicks up the road, I really did not want to get out the car they had air con. After being not having AC for so long it was great just to relax, the girl was also handing out most wipes to the both of us, probably due to the fact that I was covered head to foot in oil and dirt. No real change there then, every time I got clean something went wrong and I would be covered in oil and dirt again it was almost becoming my look. After some running around I managed to find a guy that would recover Tina and the guys, I told him to keep his eyes out just in case they had managed to get a tow. While he went off to recover the guys, Janice and I found the local bar and proceeded to prop it up. She was with out the best co-pilot I had as she bought me a JD and coke? boy did I need it. We weren?t even half way through the drinks when Kat came running in, I really was not expecting to see them that quickly. They had managed to get a tow off a Ute that passed not long after we had left them, also lucky for me the tow truck had also seen them and followed them back. A lot easier than I had imagined I arranged for a road train to pick up the car the next night and take it to Darwin. Taking anything we needed for the next few days we left Tina looking very sorry for her self. We set up the tents in the camp grounds behind the bar that Janice and I had been drinking in. While the others went for a swim in the pool I went and had the worlds longest shower hoping that it would just wash me away, as I considered what options I had now left to me. I had no idea that tonight was going to be probably the most random and bizarrely funny nights of the whole trip. Back at the tents I decided to shave all my hair off, not that I really had that much anyway, so Janice gave me a scalping just side the gents toilets. Kat, Heleen and Chris finding it most amusing, due to how it looked, me kneeling on the floor and Janice standing bent over me in the shadow of the bathroom lights. We all made it into the bar, I was already putting away the Jack and Coke before we had even ordered dinner I needed it tonight I was going to get totally bladdered. Peter the bar man was probably one of the coolest bar men any of us had ever meet, nothing seamed to phase him, the only problem he was not the fastest barman in the world. Peter then asked Kat to help and she ended up working behind the bar for a while until one of the local girls told her to get out as she was not meant to be behind the bar. The night just got more random as two guys came in wearing togas ladies hats and handbags, some how we all ended up wearing the hats at some point. I don?t think this bar had been so happening as that night as we took over the running of the jukebox, and started to rock the house and get down with the locals.
I have no idea what time things stopped, as the next thing I remember is waking up under the sinks in the bathroom. I decided it was probably a good idea if I go back to the tents and go to bed for a while. The only problem being that the tents were not there? Ok im still pissed and I really don?t need to be wondering why the tents had vanished, after a little bit of looking I found the tents back towards the bathroom under a tree. I crawled into bed and went to sleep. I woke later to find the guys sat around a table just out side the tent, they explained that they had herd noises in the bushes (which is by the creek) behind the tent thinking it was a croc they moved the tent. At the time I was laying on the floor around the tents after just being sick, dam I was in no state to wrestle the croc, will I ever get a chance. Apparently then Heleen then almost had to carry me to the bathroom, where I just never returned from. Chris was happy due to the fact that he thought that I would be sick over him in the tent. Apparently some one had asked the girls ?who is the guy passed out in the toilets?, only to get the reply ?it ok he is just our driver?. I went back to bed while the others went for breakfast. I was then woken apparently two of the guys from last night were driving to Darwin today and they had space for three of us, so I had to get myself in gear. After a quick bowl of chips we grabbed the bags. Kat and Chris would stay behind and wait for the local bus that comes through every day at 14:00 to Darwin, while the rest of us got in the car with these other two guys. It worked out ok as Kat and Chris had been getting on quite well anyway and I had my ideas about the two of them even though the both of them denied it (there is no fooling a Warren). We packed there car with as much of our stuff as we could and left the rest for Kat and Chris to put on the bus. I think the guys were expecting us to chat with them most of the way but the fact we were all still knacked and the car was air conditioned all three of us were asleep in no time. We pulled in to the town of Katherine I could finally use my phone to call Rog, who I?m sure was probably well confused over what was going on as he had no idea. He was in Chillies backpackers so we arranged to meet there once we arrived in Darwin. As we left Katherine we asked the guys to pull up at the Katherine name as we had all said to Kat that we would as that is how here name was spelt. So I go on top of Katherine and dam she was hot, so hot I was burning my skin. We finally pulled into Darwin the hostel that Rog was in had a dorm that we could all get into, that is all except Rog, he was in another room. It was good to see Rog again and we had shit loads to talk about. The local market was on tonight so Rog led the three of us off in that direction, it just happened that it was not quite as local as any of us expected. It was bustling with different stools and loads of cheap placed to eat. Which I was well happy with as I was starving, Rog just decided to buy one thing from every food stool that we passed. After a good butchers about we headed of to? wait of it yes the local Irish pub, Kat and Chris turned up not too long after a little annoyed that they had missed out on the markets. Then the rest of them headed to bed for the night while Rog pointed me in the direction of the Vic (Darwins answer to the Ibiza pub/club for backpackers). It was not bad, dancing on the tables, bar games and loads of chances to get jugs of free beer which cant be bad for anyone.

KALGOORLIE
Kal is a Gold Mining town, sorry a CITY!!! in Western Australia about 500 Kms east of Perth, it has one of the largest open mine pits in the world. I had booked into one of the only two Backpackers and decided to go for a quick walk around to see what Kal was all about. Friday night this City (I have given up on the way classifications of Cities are done out here, they would get a hell of a shock if they just saw one of our towns) should be buzzing. My first shock was walking down the road the backpackers was on and seeing all the brothels running all the way down the road it was a bit of a eye opener!!!.... (Well what else could I have said?). I was not really expecting that at all, one of the brothels actually does tours.. What you get in a tour, im not yet to sure, but apparently it is the only brothel tour in the world. Honestly Kal is a boys town, full of miners, money, brothels, pubs and fast cars doing donuts in the streets. It easily could be something out of a Mad Max Film. The next day I managed to hook up some work working for an old guy called Don Green doing tree lobbing. The only way I can describe him would be as senile old git, he totally reminded me of the old guy with the oriental wife in the film ?Pricilla Queen Of The Desert? he even had the wife for it. That evening I hooked up with a group of backpackers going own to watch the England Rugby game. So I started drinking at 15:00 we trashed the All Blacks and that meant celebrations were needed. Not only that but as I had only just arrived in Kal I had not had the ?Skimpy Experience? so the guys and girls had to show me just what it was all about. For those that don?t know the bars in Kal are staffed by a numbers of attractive girls wearing there underwear or less. I can say it really is an experience. But what a Night I crawled back to the backpackers at around 06:00 next morning after emptying my wallet of just over $260 not bad for one night in the beer. WELCOME TO KALGOORLIER WARREN. This was now to be my new home and gang Dan and Donner, Em and Richard, Sharon and Lee, and Pete. I have been here for a few weeks now and have made some fantastic friends, most of the people in the hostel are working in Kal and living here for a few months to a few years so things are really friendly and homely. Im now working as an Drillers Offsider for those not in the Mining trade that means my job is to keep the driller drilling handling all the drill rods and the core samples mined and making sure everything is constantly going well. What is more my job means that I am an Underground Offsider, working in the Gold and Nickel Mines around Kal. Its hard work but it is a hell of an experience, I can?t imagine that may people from the Uk get this sort of experience.

ADELAID TO KALGOORLIE (Kal to the locals)
Next the Train, destination Kalgoorlie well the train goes all the way to Perth but I wanted to see Kal, not only that the total journey was three days and I really did not want to be sat in a train for all that length of time. I climbed onto the Train only to find that I had no seat, Chris (who had booked the Ticket for me) had managed to book it for the wrong dates, but they sorted me out and I got a two seats in a far less packed carriage. What is it about me every time I get on a train or bus I seem attract every loony and old git wanting to start conversations with me. Ether I look very lonely traveling on my own or I look like someone that really wants to listen to there life storys. After battering off the carriage of weirdo?s I spent some quality window staring time. The Indian Pacific Train service runs across the Nullabar Plain a vast expanse of nothing but sand and more sand. For hours I watched out the window while listening to Chicane on my minidisk just seeing sand stretching off into the distance for as far as the eyes can see. Occasionally an abandoned car or truck would lay along side the dirt track that ran next to the train tracks. Our only break was a 40 min stop at a place called Cook, one of the only rail builder towns that is still standing and populated (but when I say populated we are talking about only 1 or 2 people, but to Ozies that?s a small town). The Indian Pacific is the longest straight of rail track in the world, stretching from Melbourne in Victoria to Perth in Western Australia. Back on the train I watched as the sun set over the desert it was incredible such amazing views just impossible to describe, as I think about it the hairs on the back if my neck stand on end. It is strange to think that something as empty as this desert could be so stunningly beautiful. The next night we were due to arrived in Kal, thank God I don?t think I could really put up with having to watch another Kevin Costner film, it would appear that all buses and trains in this country only show his films, captive ordinance I guess. Finally I arrive in Kal the next night, with just a slight hint of a stiff neck after jamming my head in between the window and my chair so at least I would not end up dribbling all down my t-shirt while I slept.

MELBOURNE TO ADELAIDE
First Stop Adelaide in South Australia, after a night bus that I did not sleep on, something to do with everyone in the bus wanting to hold a conversations with me all night, I landed in Adelaide. I was whisked off to the backpackers by Mark (Another Brit & X-forces) the mini-bus driver. At 0600 in the morning all I was interested in was a few hours sleep, this was broken when at about 0900 some git started shouting about seeing passports. Not being 1000% coherent at the time I had a few choice words for him, that was until I awoke enough to realize he was an inspector (well done Warren) How was I meant to know.. barging into the room like that and shouting when Im not quite awake yet. Anyway that morning after getting out of bed I was asked if I wanted work for the next day, $12 cash in hand an hour how could I have turned it down, im a traveler now. That night Mark who was also going to be working with me tomorrow asked if I wanted to go for a beer, I should know better at my age ?Just the one" the night before I start work the next morning at 0830. I was woken the next morning by Chris (Assistant manager of the Backpackers) asking me if I was thinking about going to work.. I got up so quickly I cracked my head on the bed above me adding to an already thudding headache. So much for my two day stay in Adelaide here stayed and worked for two week as the ?Truck Monkey? Yes you all read it right a TRUCK MONKEY (well that was my nick name). I was working at a place called Mr Bankrupts, basically a huge second hand furniture store, my job was unloading trucks, due to the way I scampered about inside the trucks I was then known as the truck monkey. Luckily Mark and my boss Edd (also English) took great delight in taking the piss out of the Ozies that worked there. To say they were a few sandwiches short of a picnic could well have been an understatement. After me telling one of them to speak English to me, he replied by saying ?WHY I don?t want to go to America?. I just did not have the hart to tell him that English comes from England not America but there you go. Adelaide was a great place the Backpackers I stayed in was great fun and constantly kept me entertained. I made a good set of friends, Mark, Sutton Sally and Kelly (yes I got all the way to Oz and I bump into two girls that live no more than a few roads from my house), Frank the American (well it has to happen to someone, also worked at Mr Bankrupts, Sorry Mate) and Yogy Bear (Not that?s not her real name but trust me its easier to call her Yogy). After two weeks of Adelaide I decided to move on, seeing as I had only intended to stay there for two days? Nothing goes to plan out here, well as If im really that worried.

Well the weather over here is really up my street now, it?s a sunny 20 odd degrees in the day and chilled at night. Just got back from camping on the Great Ocean Road it about 700km running along the southern coastline of Australia. It has got to be said that it has some incredible views from the road running along the cliff edges and beaches. About � of the road runs through Australian rain forest again it has some incredible views. One of the main tourist spots on the road is the twelve apostles, half a dozen rock faces that jut out of the sea some five hundred meters from today?s cliff face. These former parts of the cliff some how have survived the battering of time from wind and ocean. They are very well photographed, no mater where you go you can find photos and postcards of them in every light and angle possible. They also have a London bridge another part of the cliff that stretches into the ocean like a stone finger from the main land. London bridge has two cave holes that run through it giving it that bridge appearance. One of the stone bridge tops has collapsed, isolating it from the main land. So it would appear London Bridge really has fallen down.
Monique took me to a golf course on the way, this is not just any golf course it is a golf course covered in kangaroos, yes loads of them just lazing around on the grass catching a few rays. Luckily the main 18 hole course had been protected by a rather high fence that run all the around the course. I guess it would only those golfers wanting to use the practice greens that would have to navigate their balls through some 100 or more sunbathing Kangaroos.
Later that day I found myself chasing a Echidna down the road the little bugger did not seem particularly happy about the idea of having a few photos taken. I?m not sure if Hedgehogs can move at the pace the Echidna can if so sod the drumming bunny Duracell, get yourself a drumming Hedgehog.
But the most exciting animal I have seen so far has got to be the Koala (At last I have seen one ? two actually). The great ocean road passes through rain forest as I have said, most of which is National Park land. The southern most tip of these national parks is called Cape Otway, probably no more than 15Kms squared. We had taken a dirt track off of a small road that ran down to the Lighthouse on the tip of Cape Otway, just to see where it went. A few hundred meters down the track was fat Koala at in the middle of the track seaming be looking quite put out that someone would disturb him. I was more shocked than anything, not yet having developed the reflexes needed to grab the camera sitting next to me and get a few shots before he swaltered off into the bush. After being mightily pissed off with myself for not getting a photo, Monique and I wondered off into the forest to see if we could find more Koalas. But just as I had given up hope, Monique pointed at gray lump sitting in the fork of a tree branch. Gottua? camera ready I made my way around the tree to get the best spot for a few snaps, managing to get covered in probably very spider web in the forest in the process. At the time being bitten by a deadly spider came in very much last place to getting a koala photo. He was not quite as talkative as the two possums that I was chatting to on the fence the other night.
Anyway I must have taken about four roles of film, which I though was quite good for me really, I guess the fact that I only had four roles with me meant I could not go quite as trigger happy as I normally am.
We have also been to see the world premiere of Dave Gorman?s Googlewhack Adventure at the Melbourne comedy festival. He is a UK comedian who had two shows on the BBC last year, ?The Dave Gorman Collection? and ?Dave Gorman?s important Astrological Experiments?. He is fantastic live and if you get the chance to see him DO, the show is probably the best comedy show I have seen live, you will come out in pain due to laughing so much.

Well its starting to cool down a little over here now and we have rain one or twice a week now, but when its not raining its still t-shirt and short weather. Infact im still having issues sleeping at night as it is so hot. As I have said the Ozies keep telling me it getts cold out here but lets face it any country that keeps it plumbing and heated water out side the house without any lagging, does not really understand the meaning of cold. Well I will just have to see for myself, the other thing is not one of the houses has central heating!! That could be the difference.
Monique and I headed off to Albert Park (The Australian GP) to watch the F1 testing and qualifying. Its strange as I drove around the circuit only about a month before at that point it was just a park with a lake in the middle and a very quite and unused road snaking its way around the lake. It was cool to see how they had transformed it, huge spectator stands, bridges and huge TV display screens there was people every where, the cost to put it all together must have been close to the US defense budget (OK maybe I?m being a little OTT). Its was great for the experience but you have a much better deal sitting at home being able to see the whole thing rather than just 1/3 of a second as the blur of a car passes you through the mesh fencing. The best bit is probably the noise of the engines its incredible. After watching the F1s, skydiving, Airforce plane displays and the accompanying attractions we watched as the v8 super cars were let out to play. They were great flames porring from there undersides as they tussled for positions with only enough space between then to pass a Rizila paper between them.
I have to say I?m quite happy I have now seen possums, all sorts of different birds and parrots, kangaroos, assorted spiders and creepy crawies. I have even had my arms covered in spider bites and last week I stopped Monique from stepping on a ?Red bellied, black snake? apparently its poisonous? Soo Cool, I have some great photos of him. I was getting ready to do my Steve Irwen impression as the bugger made a dash for tree line? Don?t worry I?ll get him next time.

Well I cant believe I have been here for over three weeks already, it has gone so quickly.
I'm starting to adapt to the temperature a little now and at least I don't spend so much time clinging on to the freezers in the local Safeway's. I must say the store manager has been very nice about the whole thing even after me trying to climb into one of them a couple of weeks ago. I guess they are quite used to the English doing odd things like that, I mean the other day Monique and I were strolling down the road only to have this 6 foot something green Koala jump out at us asking for money. It turned out he was from Bath (UK), not the sort of place that you expect a green koala to come from now is it. Its always hot here Day / Night it does not seem to make any difference, so far it has got up to 43�C and the lows have been around 20�C. Which is dam hot for any Londoner, no wonder they keep talking about mad Englishmen, what do they expect in this heat.
But its not all bad Monique bought me a paddling pool for Christmas, its quite large and is great on those really hot days. I have also done the Oz 'BBQ thing' now, I have even been allowed to drive one myself, but boy they take it seriously out here. A normal BBQ is at least the size of a small car, with the real Pro's owning a BBQ the size of small London boroughs (like Croydon for instance!!). The house is well cool its really close walk to the central part of Melbourne City centre but it more like a quite village than part of a City. All the roads are huge and even the back roads are around the size of a dual carriageway back home, god knows why, they don't seam to have the traffic to need roads like this.
In fact I'm having real difficulty with the wildlife out here it just does not shut up, the birds 'are at it' constantly (I mean singing). Some how Monique fails to hear them unless I point them out to her no mater how loud they are. The only back up I have is a TV advert where a guy is making breakfast and listing to the radio. The DJ talking is on about how the birds never shut up and how much of a pain in the ass they all are, at which one of the two birds siting on the window also listing to the radio flies into the room and poo's in the guys coffee. The DJ then said they should all be shot (Something that I say regularly to Monique). Someone really will have to send me a recording of the sound of 24h traffic as I'm starting to miss it.
Travel is really handy there is a set of trams that criss-cross the city and they stop only about 50 meters from the house. The whole place is dam right horizontal, I have been asking myself if anyone works in this City, or do they spend the day running the business from one of the 1,000,001 arty coffee shops on every street. Dressed in nothing more than Sun'ies (Sunglases), T shit, shorts and 'THONGs' (Flip-flops or sandals to the rest of us). I have been looking out for the pedestrian speed limit signs saying no movement faster than 1MPH... They must have them... They must!! or maybe it is a law that is just known by everyone but me. Far cry from the hustle and bustling London town.
The big thing out here at the moment is the fires, the worst in 100 years. One of Monique's cousins is a bush fireman, he is flown out by helicopter to the fires and absails ahead of them to make fire breaks, the areas are so remote and dense that they can not be reached any other way. He was telling the both of us that the fires he was at during the week were 100 meters high and they could feel the heat from 4 km away. Its hard to believe that most of them are caused by lightening strikes. You should see the footage they are showing on the news UNREAL.
I guess you are wondering what we have been up to, well there has been so much I'm not sure I could probably remember it all. New years was fantastic, we went out to see the fireworks displays over the Yarra river (the river that runs through Melbourne). It was incredible, the fireworks were going on for about 20 minutes in all directions the roads were solid with people you just could not move. Once we escaped the hordes we went home for Champagne in the pool yes it was still hot.
We have also been doing dingy sailing and trips all over the place around the bay, to the beach. The other night we went to the moonlight cinema in the botanical gardens. As the sun went down the bats started to go wild but Monique assured me that they would shut up when the film starts... As if im that gullible. Well they did as soon as they film went the bats got back into there trees and shut up.

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